Have you ever asked yourself, what is commitment phobia? Is this a real phobia or just hype or another made up reason why men can’t and won’t commit? Below are 10 examples to identify commitment phobia. Most describe it as if they are in a prison or a trap and they can’t get out. But the reality is that the Commitment Phobe is doing this to him/herself for fear of rejection or loss of a relationship.
- A commitment phobic person will find it hard to commit or to make a commitment to anything with family, friends or significant other if it isn’t in his/her agenda. Even if it’s a small task. They may often feel that you’re taking their personal time.
- Commitment phobia can hold a person back from meeting their goals in life. Because things that they want the most they fear the most. (Closeness, togetherness, and unity) But yet their fear is so intense this is what they run from.
- A commitment phobic person may often prefer to be single but not always stay single. They will commit to relationships but they never fully commit or if they do they hold back and will never be with that person 100%. There is always a certain part of their lives that stay private. This will make him/her feel more in control. Therefore, this will cause a lot of problems in any committed relationship.
- By not committing to something 100% it leaves more control in the commitment phobic’s hands. Control feeds the commitment phobic’s illness. It acts as a safety net or an out when needed.
- Commitment phobia people often want the same thing in life love and security, but once they get it they run. Something about routine that causes him to run. Usually this person starts to feel pressure and will look for reasons to sabotage what they have and once he/she can justify this in his or her mind, he then will walk away often blaming the other person.
- When in a commitment phobic relationship you may be able to tell by the level of intimacy that this person will allow you to share with him/her. This level is always on the commitment phobic’s terms. The commitment phobic will only let you get so close. He/she may even marry you, but if he/she is not aware of his/her commitment phobic behavior, your marriage will be a lonely one.
- Commitment phobics are usually procrastinators especially when it comes to large purchases. Purchasing a house, car anything that is long term it will frighten them to death and often force them to run. A lease a term or a contract is often viewed as a trap to a commitment phobic. Again, this is the illness when they feel trapped and then they run.
- Living with a commitment phobic person can be devastating to a non commitment phobic partner. The commitment phobic person will always hold back and it’s very rare that they will move forward and grow in a healthy way in their marriage or relationships. Commitment phobic people are often seclusive, have very few close relationships and often make excuses as to why. It’s a viscous circle and it can become a ball of confusion for a non commitment phobic person.
- The truth is most commitment phobs are afraid of commitment because of his/her insecurity. They are afraid of being hurt or giving their all in fear that he or she could be let down or even fail.
- The most important thing to remember is a commitment phobic person will pick fights constantly when things are going well, this many times is his/her out when things are going to well.
If you feel that you could be commitment phobic or feel that you know someone who could be, the good news is there is help for this illness. There are books that can also heighten awareness. One book that I enjoyed and highly recommend is He’s Scared, She’s Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships
